We’ve been talking about the distinction between your life and your life situation.  To give you a quick metaphor, your life situation is the pond you swim in – your relationships, your environment, your job, your health, etc.  But your life is how you choose to swim through it.  Even if there are storms or predators or irritating water bugs, you still have the power to decide in which direction you swim, how fast, and with how much style, grace and positive thoughts.

In today’s and tomorrow’s blogs, I’ll give you some practical tips to get started on and continue in this very important life.  Let’s start with these:

• Before:  The time to decide to make intentional choices about a life situation is before you are in the midst of the  intensity of a negative life situation.   While you are at peace and able to reason calmly, you need to take the time to know your values and how you want to approach life.

• During:  The time to act on your values is right in the midst of the intense emotion.  You are in the situation, your emotions and fears may be roiling, your habitual reactions may be pressing to control you.  This is your key moment.

• After: When you’re out of the situation, take the time to reflect on how you handled yourself.  Did your action reflect your life – who you are and who you want to be?  Did your habitual reactions overtake you, or did you manage to act intentionally?  Every moment that you succeeded in acting intentionally is a success, even though you won’t be perfect.  With practice, you’ll find yourself more in your life and less overwhelmed by your life situation.

This isn’t a hard concept to understand, but it can be difficult to translate into reality, particularly in trying times.  If you’ve just been swamped by a dire circumstance, it will take you time to get your bearings.  If you’ve spent a lifetime being washed in one direction and then another, you’ll have to practice and train.

Roger K. Allen, Ph.D. is an expert in personal transformation, leadership, and teams. His tools and methods have helped hundreds of businesses and tens of thousands of people transform the ways they work and live. To learn more, visit www.theheroschoice.com.