In my last article, I talked about four toxic patterns that diminish our feelings of safety, security and love within our relationships. And because we are human, we will sometimes fall into these patterns. But the good news is that we can recover and rebuild feelings of safety and love. My purpose in this article […]
In a recent blog post I introduced the five stage of marital satisfaction: enchantment, disillusionment, obligation, friendship and mature love. In this post I want to talk about four toxic relationship patterns that prevent you from moving forward from disillusionment or obligation to friendship and love. These four patterns come from marriage research at the […]
Happiness in Marriage Did you know that over 96% of all people will marry or come together as a couple during their lifetimes? The fact is, we don’t like being alone. We want to find a partner and settle into a life with someone with whom we can share our life experiences. Furthermore, according to […]
I’ve observed that intimate relationships often grow through five stages. I call them the five stages of marital (or couple) satisfaction. I want to offer them to you to understand the milestones in your progress towards building a happy and thriving marriage. I’m also interested in your thoughts. Do you agree? How do they fit […]
In my last blog post, I talked about how we are responsible for our own happiness in marriage. This is not something we can sluff off on our spouses. That doesn’t mean I always walk my talk. In this article, I want to share a story about playing the victim in my marriage. Hopefully, it […]
A belief of mine is that you have to take good care of yourself to have a healthy and happy relationship. Taking good care of yourself is your job and not something you can sluff onto your partner. Of course, the beginning of a relationship feels so different. I was just scanning face book yesterday […]
One reason that many marriages flounder or fail is that we enter into them with unrealistic expectations. There are many myths of marriage out there that are not realistic and don’t serve you. Unfortunately, they set you up to be disillusioned and discouraged with your marriage. I believe you’ll be a lot more successful building […]
Taking offense is being hurt, upset or angry by something your spouse (or anyone else) says or does. Always at the heart of taking offense is feeling treated unfairly. Your partner has been insensitive, inconsiderate, dismissing, condescending or disparaging in some way. What you’re hearing or how you’re being treated doesn’t fit with how you […]
Hurray for 2021! Most people are so happy to put 2020 in the rear view mirror. And yet, what’s going to make 2021 better? If you’re like me, you’re hoping circumstances will be different–that the vaccine will help us get a handle on the pandemic, that kids will be back in school, that unemployment will […]
In a previous article, I introduced a four-phase process for resolving conflict in marriage and other relationships. Here is a quick review of those phases. The first phase is preparation in which you put yourself in the mental state to step up to conflict in a helpful way. Phase two is invitation in which you […]
