“The strongest oak in the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.” Napoleon Hill
I look around at people who have suffered incredible hardship and wonder how they do it. How is it that some people grow up in very challenging circumstances or experience great trauma or loss and yet survive? In many cases, not only survive but thrive. Like Charlie Plumb in my last post. Upon being captured, tortured and tossed in a small cell, Charlie wasn’t sure he’d make it or that he wanted to make it. Yet somehow he developed the “attitude,” as his doctor back home called it, to overcome his hellish circumstances.
Psychology has given it a name–resilience, which is defined as the ability to adapt to life’s misfortunes and setbacks. When resilient you bounce back from adversity. You find the inner strength to make good choices in the face of difficulty. If you lack resilience, you tend to dwell on problems, feel overwhelmed and turn to unhealthy ways of coping.
I make it sound like resilience in an attribute, something you have or do not, which is not true. I believe it is more helpful to think of resilience as a strategy, made up of choices and actions you can take to find the inner strength and mental toughness to deal with whatever life throws at you. People who survive and overcome really tough realities don’t do so because they are born with a special gene but rather because they figure out what they need to do to survive. They develop a good strategy.
So, I’d like to offer you some tips to develop your resiliency. Not all will work equally well for you. You have to be deliberate about creating your own strategy or plan. The important thing is to take responsibility for doing so by choosing your actions. Don’t leave it to chance. Be deliberate. Be proactive. Think of the tips as actions. You have to take action to be resilient.
Certainly this list is not comprehensive. Consider others that you can utilize in the midst of a big “key moment.” In fact, I’d encourage you to develop your own list when in the middle of a tough situation. Be aware that developing resilience takes time and practice. The important thing is to be deliberate. The important thing is to remember, as I stated earlier–resilience is not a trait. It is a strategy that can help you endure loss, chronic stress and trauma. It will enable you to develop a reservoir of inner resources that you can draw upon to face life courageously.
My purpose is to teach you strategies to replace negative patterns with a positive state of mind from which you can achieve your greatest desires and live a joyful and abundant life.
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Enjoyed reading your stragegies. Here’s one that I like: Optimism
A very motivational and a beautiful article for all ages