Your Story
“Heroes are everyday people who step up to life’s hardship with courage, grace, or integrity. Here’s a place to share your story or that of someone you know. Write your hero story below.”
I’m interested in your story or that of someone you know—a friend, colleague, or family member who has faced some serious hardship. What was the situation? What happened? Who as involved? How did this person cope or perhaps overcome the hardship? What have you learned from their experience? How has it touched your life?
Or maybe this person is you. What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced? How did it impact you? What choices did you make and what were the consequences? How has this changed the way you think about life?
Life is Hard
I ask these questions because I know that life is hard. Certainly, it’s harder for some than others. But I believe it’s hard, at least some of the time, for all of us.
So I’m curious about how you or someone in your life has dealt with the hard things in life. How have you witnessed someone navigate challenges, bounce back from hard events, or simply keep going in the midst of difficult or even devastating circumstances, stress, and hardship?
Heroes
We so often talk about heroes today. We think of heroes as someone who puts
him/herself in harm’s way to rescue or save someone else. And I admire these
people. They are heroes.
But I also believe in everyday heroes, people who step up to life’s hardship with
courage, grace, or integrity. These heroes are all around us—in our families,
neighborhoods, churches, and organizations. They don’t ask for acclaim or
recognition. But they live in a heroic way because they face harsh circumstances
and yet they keep going. They make good, strengthening, even tough choices that
make a difference to themselves or those around them.
So I’m giving you and opportunity to tell a story. It could be your own, something
really challenging you’re facing or have faced in your life. Or it could be that of
someone you know—someone who’s life has touched and inspired you because of
the way they lived.
Fill out the form below with their story and even a picture. I’ll review the story and
publish it on this page over the next few days.
In this way we can support one another and receive inspiration in the journeys of
our lives.
4 days ago
A Traumatic Bicycle Accident
I want to share a story of a friend by the name of Jim Arbuckle. Before dawn in the fall of 2020, Jim was riding his bike along a wooded area next to the Minnesota River. Although he had lights on his bike and helmet, he briefly took his eyes off the trail and hit a tree branch. The impact knocked him off his bike and down 15 feet to the river bed where he lay on his stomach, face in the leaves and mud. He couldn’t move any of his body from the neck down. He imagined a future of being totally paralyzed. His life would have so little meaning. He’d be a burden to his wife and family.
Not only was he at the bottom of a riverbed but on an unused trail. The temperature was below freezing and he was cold. Although he had a cell phone he couldn’t use it. For an hour and a half of yelling for help and praying, Jim heard a voice. “Are you Ok? Do you need some help?” Jon and Megan, two early morning joggers were running on the trail and saw a piece of his jacket. Jon climbed down the riverbank and called 911. Afterward he told Jim, “You are the luckiest guy in the world, we generally don’t run here, but we did today and we even drove our car to get here quicker.
It took several minutes for the EMTs to arrive. One came up the river in a boat and the other down the trail with a 4-wheeler. Before long, they had Jim on a stretcher and lifted up onto the river bank. Then they took him down the trail to the ambulance waiting at the trail head.
In the hospital, Jim got some good news. He had only bruised his spinal cord in several places and recovery was possible. The bad news was that they couldn’t didn’t know how much mobility would be possible and if he’d ever regain the full use of his limbs. His doctors treated him with screws and rods and a halo to fuse his vertebrae and informed him he’s go through a long period of physical and occupational therapy.
Although his nurses told Him that he needed to try to move his arms and legs constantly to rebuild his muscles and nervous system, he received only three hours of physical therapy per day and was confined to his bed another 21 hours. So he used those hours to his advantage. He got rubber exercise bands and a hand squeezer. When not using these props, he worked at lifting his hands to touch the bed railings.
The doctors and nurses pushed back at his hard work because patients weren’t supposed to do their own therapy in their rooms. At one point, they put an alarm on him to call the nurses if he were to stand up from his wheelchair. And they refused to let him walk without a walker. But Jim was more interested in his healing than hospital protocol and so he pushed himself to stand on his own and walk. As his strength and feelings were slowly returning, Jim knew that his recovery depended on commitment and motivation, so he exercised every hour of the day. In truth, the work was painful and unpleasant.
Since Jim’s accident happened in the middle of covid, he could only have one visitor a day. His wife, Jean, came to the hospital for about ten hours every day, dressing him, feeding him, doing for him what he couldn’t do for himself. Her dedication touched Jim deeply. And during the three weeks of hospital therapy, he received many messages of encouragement from friends and relatives. Jean, his only visitor, read these messages to him and constantly wiped the tears from his eyes. The messages meant so much and gave him motivation and helped fuel his positive mental outlook.
Jim was released from the hospital after just three weeks, halo and all. His doctors told him they had never witnessed anyone progress so quickly and completely. Once released, Jim continued working out. He went to a local gym every day and even paid for a personal trainer. He used equipment at home and never missed an opportunity to walk out doors. He started working with a chiropractor who would get underneath each arm and push until it was absolutely numb with pain. Jim still does the stretches every day. If he doesn’t do them constantly, he regresses.
As Jim became stronger, his goals of being independent and giving service to others were coming back. He felt he was receiving divine support and decided to help others who were struggling to walk. He knew one man with a cane in his church congregation. Jim took it from him and put it in a closet during the church services. The man walked around the church without it and went home, that day, walking on his own. Jim visited another man in assisted living. He’d suffered a stroke and lost the use of his left arm and most of his right hand. Jim started taking him to LA Fitness and taught him to use bands and regain as much use in his arms as possible. Jim teared up as he shared this. He could use his experience to inspire others.
Today Jim gets up at 6:00 am every morning and goes to the gym for a good workout—45 minutes of weights and a 45-minute swim. He mountain bikes with a friend and hikes with his wife. Last summer as a strength and confidence builder, he and a friend did a 300-mile kayak trip on the Mississippi River, camping on sand bars and cooking their own food. It was very challenging with high water, strong winds along with the periodic locks and barge traffic to overcome. This winter for the first time since his accident, he tried snowboarding. Although not quite 100% in terms of movement and balance, he is doing almost everything he did before his accident.
Jim has told me that, in spite of this hard experience and diminished physical abilities, he has gained some wonderful insights. He appreciates his family and friends as never before. He understands the preciousness of life and is weeding out weeding out the negative emotions of doubt, fear and discouragement. He is using what he has learned to help others that lack the know-how and confidence to recover from similar injuries.
I’ve been privileged to travel with Jim since his accident. For me he’s a hero, an incredible example of faith, determination and resilience. He could have given up and lived his life in a wheelchair. Instead, he pushes himself daily to live a normal and full life.
Read more
Not only was he at the bottom of a riverbed but on an unused trail. The temperature was below freezing and he was cold. Although he had a cell phone he couldn’t use it. For an hour and a half of yelling for help and praying, Jim heard a voice. “Are you Ok? Do you need some help?” Jon and Megan, two early morning joggers were running on the trail and saw a piece of his jacket. Jon climbed down the riverbank and called 911. Afterward he told Jim, “You are the luckiest guy in the world, we generally don’t run here, but we did today and we even drove our car to get here quicker.
It took several minutes for the EMTs to arrive. One came up the river in a boat and the other down the trail with a 4-wheeler. Before long, they had Jim on a stretcher and lifted up onto the river bank. Then they took him down the trail to the ambulance waiting at the trail head.
In the hospital, Jim got some good news. He had only bruised his spinal cord in several places and recovery was possible. The bad news was that they couldn’t didn’t know how much mobility would be possible and if he’d ever regain the full use of his limbs. His doctors treated him with screws and rods and a halo to fuse his vertebrae and informed him he’s go through a long period of physical and occupational therapy.
Although his nurses told Him that he needed to try to move his arms and legs constantly to rebuild his muscles and nervous system, he received only three hours of physical therapy per day and was confined to his bed another 21 hours. So he used those hours to his advantage. He got rubber exercise bands and a hand squeezer. When not using these props, he worked at lifting his hands to touch the bed railings.
The doctors and nurses pushed back at his hard work because patients weren’t supposed to do their own therapy in their rooms. At one point, they put an alarm on him to call the nurses if he were to stand up from his wheelchair. And they refused to let him walk without a walker. But Jim was more interested in his healing than hospital protocol and so he pushed himself to stand on his own and walk. As his strength and feelings were slowly returning, Jim knew that his recovery depended on commitment and motivation, so he exercised every hour of the day. In truth, the work was painful and unpleasant.
Since Jim’s accident happened in the middle of covid, he could only have one visitor a day. His wife, Jean, came to the hospital for about ten hours every day, dressing him, feeding him, doing for him what he couldn’t do for himself. Her dedication touched Jim deeply. And during the three weeks of hospital therapy, he received many messages of encouragement from friends and relatives. Jean, his only visitor, read these messages to him and constantly wiped the tears from his eyes. The messages meant so much and gave him motivation and helped fuel his positive mental outlook.
Jim was released from the hospital after just three weeks, halo and all. His doctors told him they had never witnessed anyone progress so quickly and completely. Once released, Jim continued working out. He went to a local gym every day and even paid for a personal trainer. He used equipment at home and never missed an opportunity to walk out doors. He started working with a chiropractor who would get underneath each arm and push until it was absolutely numb with pain. Jim still does the stretches every day. If he doesn’t do them constantly, he regresses.
As Jim became stronger, his goals of being independent and giving service to others were coming back. He felt he was receiving divine support and decided to help others who were struggling to walk. He knew one man with a cane in his church congregation. Jim took it from him and put it in a closet during the church services. The man walked around the church without it and went home, that day, walking on his own. Jim visited another man in assisted living. He’d suffered a stroke and lost the use of his left arm and most of his right hand. Jim started taking him to LA Fitness and taught him to use bands and regain as much use in his arms as possible. Jim teared up as he shared this. He could use his experience to inspire others.
Today Jim gets up at 6:00 am every morning and goes to the gym for a good workout—45 minutes of weights and a 45-minute swim. He mountain bikes with a friend and hikes with his wife. Last summer as a strength and confidence builder, he and a friend did a 300-mile kayak trip on the Mississippi River, camping on sand bars and cooking their own food. It was very challenging with high water, strong winds along with the periodic locks and barge traffic to overcome. This winter for the first time since his accident, he tried snowboarding. Although not quite 100% in terms of movement and balance, he is doing almost everything he did before his accident.
Jim has told me that, in spite of this hard experience and diminished physical abilities, he has gained some wonderful insights. He appreciates his family and friends as never before. He understands the preciousness of life and is weeding out weeding out the negative emotions of doubt, fear and discouragement. He is using what he has learned to help others that lack the know-how and confidence to recover from similar injuries.
I’ve been privileged to travel with Jim since his accident. For me he’s a hero, an incredible example of faith, determination and resilience. He could have given up and lived his life in a wheelchair. Instead, he pushes himself daily to live a normal and full life.
Roger Allen
3 weeks ago
A Loving Care-Giver
My story is about Chris, my cousin and a woman in her early seventies who has been in a care-giving role for most of her adult life. Not only did she and her husband raise a large family but her husband has a 30+ year history of heart attacks and strokes and so has been unable to work during large parts of their marriage.
On top of this, recent strokes have left him quite cognitively disabled. In addition, Chris and Jim have a 26-year-old son, Ammon, born with spinal bifida and confined to a wheelchair. Although bright and pleasant, Ammon is totally dependent on his parents to meet his physical needs. Needless to say, the demands on Chris are continuous. She rarely gets a break from caring for others.
Chris deals with continuous uncertainty regarding the health of her husband and son. She provides constant, daily care to the two of them, making it difficult for her to get much time for herself. She can’t leave them alone. She also worries about their finances, particularly how to provide for the end-of-life needs of her husband. Chris also worries about dying and leaving their disabled son in the care of someone else and also wonders how to fill Ammon’s life with great experiences so he could feel joy and meaning.
To give you a flavor for what she deals with, here is an excerpt from something she sent me regarding how she was feeling when her son, Ammon, was just 2 years of age. Imagine. It’s now another 24 years later and she’s lived with the same stressors these many years. Here’s what she wrote:
The first two years of life for a child with Spina Bifida are fraught with danger and anxiety. The doctors and parents aren't sure exactly how responsive and active the child will be until they get a little older. Ammon had many, many surgeries in that first two years. To say I was always scared is putting it mildly. I had to keep my cool around our kids and keep reassuring them when I didn't feel reassured at all. We had seven children living at home when Ammon was born. Jim had another TIA during the first year of Ammon's life and was unable to perform the tasks required at his work so he lost his job. Life was bleak and so heavy. I had never navigated such dangerous waters and I can't remember a single time that I laughed during that period of time. I smiled a lot, hoping to buoy up my kids, but I never laughed.
Like I said, this was 24 years ago. She has continued these many years since, experiencing realities much like those she described in this paragraph. So, I’ve asked her how she does it today. What gives her the courage to carry on? Here is what she wrote:
First and foremost is having faith in a loving, merciful God.
I try to find ways to laugh through hard things.
I need someone in my life who can let me just spill (my guts) once in a while. Visits from family and friends mean so much.
I try to gain as much knowledge as possible regarding health issues of Ammon and Jim. This medical knowledge gives me a feeling of power.
It always makes me feel better when I serve others, not just my immediate family.
Getting feelings out on paper and verbalizing feelings and events helps.
Hobbies are important. Photography got me through some stressful days at work when I’d walk during my lunch hour. It helped me focus on beauty so I could put my mind in a better place.
After sharing these ideas with me, Chris wrote, “Given all of this, I would not trade my trials with anyone else. Ammon has given me such incredible joy that I would go through it all again just to have him in my life. I’m grateful his health is stable. He is my rock. He is so calm and uplifting. He always (!) takes the higher road and is a constant example to me how to be more God-like. So his difficulties have strengthened all of us and we will be forever grateful that God sent him to us."
Chris inspires me by her constant care-giving.
Read more
On top of this, recent strokes have left him quite cognitively disabled. In addition, Chris and Jim have a 26-year-old son, Ammon, born with spinal bifida and confined to a wheelchair. Although bright and pleasant, Ammon is totally dependent on his parents to meet his physical needs. Needless to say, the demands on Chris are continuous. She rarely gets a break from caring for others.
Chris deals with continuous uncertainty regarding the health of her husband and son. She provides constant, daily care to the two of them, making it difficult for her to get much time for herself. She can’t leave them alone. She also worries about their finances, particularly how to provide for the end-of-life needs of her husband. Chris also worries about dying and leaving their disabled son in the care of someone else and also wonders how to fill Ammon’s life with great experiences so he could feel joy and meaning.
To give you a flavor for what she deals with, here is an excerpt from something she sent me regarding how she was feeling when her son, Ammon, was just 2 years of age. Imagine. It’s now another 24 years later and she’s lived with the same stressors these many years. Here’s what she wrote:
The first two years of life for a child with Spina Bifida are fraught with danger and anxiety. The doctors and parents aren't sure exactly how responsive and active the child will be until they get a little older. Ammon had many, many surgeries in that first two years. To say I was always scared is putting it mildly. I had to keep my cool around our kids and keep reassuring them when I didn't feel reassured at all. We had seven children living at home when Ammon was born. Jim had another TIA during the first year of Ammon's life and was unable to perform the tasks required at his work so he lost his job. Life was bleak and so heavy. I had never navigated such dangerous waters and I can't remember a single time that I laughed during that period of time. I smiled a lot, hoping to buoy up my kids, but I never laughed.
Like I said, this was 24 years ago. She has continued these many years since, experiencing realities much like those she described in this paragraph. So, I’ve asked her how she does it today. What gives her the courage to carry on? Here is what she wrote:
First and foremost is having faith in a loving, merciful God.
I try to find ways to laugh through hard things.
I need someone in my life who can let me just spill (my guts) once in a while. Visits from family and friends mean so much.
I try to gain as much knowledge as possible regarding health issues of Ammon and Jim. This medical knowledge gives me a feeling of power.
It always makes me feel better when I serve others, not just my immediate family.
Getting feelings out on paper and verbalizing feelings and events helps.
Hobbies are important. Photography got me through some stressful days at work when I’d walk during my lunch hour. It helped me focus on beauty so I could put my mind in a better place.
After sharing these ideas with me, Chris wrote, “Given all of this, I would not trade my trials with anyone else. Ammon has given me such incredible joy that I would go through it all again just to have him in my life. I’m grateful his health is stable. He is my rock. He is so calm and uplifting. He always (!) takes the higher road and is a constant example to me how to be more God-like. So his difficulties have strengthened all of us and we will be forever grateful that God sent him to us."
Chris inspires me by her constant care-giving.
