Why Aren’t You Making The Progress You Want?

I went to a cook-out at a friend’s house.  As we sat watching the sun set, I noticed a contraption hanging from the corner of his house.  “It’s a mosquito trap,” he explained.

I’m not going to try to explain how it worked, but it was clever – and effective.  The little rascals flew into the jar, and they didn’t fly out again.

“This is really original!” I said. “You should make more and sell them.  You always said you wanted to start your own business – this could be it!”

He shrugged.  “Yeah, I sent a letter to one company, but they weren’t interested.”

“One company?  Only one?”

“Sure.  Want to see their answer?”

It was a form letter, reading something along the lines of, “Dear sir, thank you for your idea submission, but we are returning your materials unread.  To prevent any confusion about the originator of ideas, we ask that submit your idea through the following channels . . .”

My friend gave me a twisted smile, then folded the letter back up and put it in his pocket.  “Their loss.”

One of the principles we teach at HDI is that we all act from core beliefs, even if they’re unconscious. My friend had the intention of starting his own business.  So what’s stopping him from using this invention (or one of his others) as the springboard and going for it?  Why isn’t he creating the new reality he wants?

Why aren’t you creating the reality you want?

You may have the core belief that you should change careers, improve your family relationships, or, like my friend, start your own business.  How long have you know that you need make this change in your personal development?  Are you getting there?  If not, why not?    What’s stopping you from getting where you want to go?

We act out of our core beliefs, and that’s how we create our reality.  For instance, if one of your core beliefs is that exercise will prolong my life, you will incorporate healthy patterns into your life, creating your reality.  But what if your have another core belief, one that I’m not even aware of, that conflicts with that idea?  Let’s say your parents both died young, and you have an unconscious belief that it’s inevitable that you will as well.  Or you believe that you have no right to take the time away from your family to exercise, or that people won’t take care of you if you become healthy and strong.

Unconscious core beliefs are insidious; they influence our actions, leading to a very different outcome than we planned for and affecting our personal development on every level.  You may be baffled by your failure:  “I set goals, I tried.  This isn’t my fault!”  You might attempt to explain your failure by blaming:

  • Another person:  “My family falls apart if I leave to go to the gym.  My kids will stage a coup if I stop buying junk food.   The weather’s too unpredictable this time of year to go running.”
  • Your own defective nature:   “I just can’t get up that early in the morning.  I got so wrapped up in work I forgot to go at lunchtime.  I guess I’m just a born slacker.”
  • The defective nature of the goal:  “It was a dumb idea anyway.  I’ll live as long as I’m supposed to live.  It’s more important to deal with the now than the future.”

These might feel like legitimate explanations.  After all, you tried.  But if you allow these explanations to take root, you rob yourself of your ability to truly change your life.  Dig deeper.  Question your excuses.  Challenge your self-limiting belief that you can’t do something.  Once  you expose your unconscious core beliefs,  you’ll empower yourself, at last, to truly change your life and LIVE BIG.


Roger K. Allen, Ph.D. is an expert in personal transformation, leadership, and teams. His tools and methods have helped hundreds of businesses and tens of thousands of people transform the ways they work and live. To learn more, visit www.theheroschoice.com.


About Roger K. Allen
Roger K. Allen, Ph.D. is an expert in personal transformation and family development. His tools and methods have helped tens of thousands of people live happier and more effective lives. To learn more, visit www.rogerkallen.com>.

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