I read a lot. Although I love fiction, most of my reading is on self-help and spiritual topics. I’m intrigued by books related to personal and relationship development. And sometimes I notice myself going from one great book to another without allowing time to fully digest what I’m reading. Although I’ve found great value in acquiring a broad perspective, I sometimes wonder if I’d be better off slowing down, reading less, pondering more, and giving myself time to integrate new wisdom into my daily life.
For example, I recently read a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, one of my favorite authors, about the importance of a smile, even a half smile as you go about your day. One thing he said was that “Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy. The true source of a smile is an awakened mind.” Peace is Every Step, p. 6.
I thought it was a nice idea and read on. After a number of pages I realized that I was reading to get through the book rather than live the teachings of the book. So I stopped reading. What about my smile? Am I just going to keep reading or am I going to incorporate this idea into my life?
So let me ask you. How often have you read a self-help book, listened to a touching speech or podcast and loved what you heard or read? But then you notice that it’s life as usual. You’ve grown your knowing but not your doing or becoming. It happens to most of us.
Of course, change is not abracadabra. There is no magic. No genie in a bottle. The challenge in personal development is not just in finding great ideas but making those ideas stick; to actually incorporate them into your life so they make a difference.
So, I want to issue you a challenge when you read, listen to a podcast, or buy a self-improvement product. Take what you’re learning (at least an idea that really resonates) beyond an idea and put it into action.
A Six-Step Process
Here’s a six-step process to help you do this. And, by the way, I’m not talking about a personality transformation, here. I’m talking about taking an idea that grabs you and you sincerely desire to incorporate it into your daily life. Although going through these steps takes some effort (commensurate with the scope of the change you’re considering), they will amplify your commitment and likelihood of making the change stick.
Now I want to say, at the outset, that going through this process to make change stick will take effort. But if you are sincere about incorporating an idea, insight or new practice into your life, these steps will amplify your commitment and likelihood of making the change.
- Zero in on a principle, idea or behavior that makes sense to you; something you know would truly make a difference if you fully integrated it into your life. For example:
- “I want to commit to a healthy, nutritious diet.”
- “I choose to live mindfully by bringing my attention back to my moment-by- moment experience.”
- “I’m committed to starting a program of resistance training.”
- “I want to own responsibility for my reactions rather than blame when things go wrong.”
- “I want to be a safe place for my children to open up and talk to me.”
- Describe the consequences of not making this change. What is it costing you? Ponder this and write down all the ideas that come to your mind.
- Describe your life if you fully lived this principle or idea. What would be the consequences? What rewards would you gain? How would your life be better?
- Consider how to incorporate this idea into your life. What will it look like? What new choices do you need to make? What actions do you need to take? What routines or structures can you put in place to support you?
- Take a small action right now. This minute. Don’t wait until the time is right. What can you do NOW to make this a reality? Take this action.
- Keep acting on this change for the next 30-Days. Don’t think in terms of the rest of your life. Make the change for the next month and then revisit your decision to see if it’s something you want to continue.
Change Requires Action
It is not easy to change our patterns of thought, emotion, and behavior. It’s a lot easier to read a good idea than to live that idea. Living an idea starts with pondering, more deeply, what it would take to live the idea. Then it requires getting out of thinking and into action. You have to do something to make it real. My hope is that by focusing on one change and walking through these steps, you’ll take more command of your personal growth than by filling your mind with more good ideas.
What do you think?
