I’ve spent a lot of time, these past several months, thinking about and researching the topic of resilience. As a matter of fact, I’ll be launching a new course on this topic in the next month or so. The purpose of the course is to help you become a stronger person, mentally and emotionally. I’ll be offering a framework for thinking about resilience as well as numerous strategies and practices to face life with greater resilience and confidence.

So let me introduce this topic by sharing a story of a personal friend who’s an example of resilience to me. His name is Jim Arbuckle. As you read his story, pay particular attention to ways in which Jim demonstrated resilience. We can learn a lot from the examples of others.

The Accident

I got a call from Jim in late November of 2020 and he told me that he got up early on a recent morning and was riding his bike along a wooded area next to the Minnesota River. Although he had lights on his helmet and bike, he didn’t see an 8-inch diameter tree branch, at head level, as he was doing about 10 miles an hour.

The impact knocked Jim off his bike and he fell 15 feet down to the river bed where he lay on his stomach, face in the leaves and mud. He couldn’t move any of his body from the neck down. He imagined a future of being totally paralyzed. His life would have so little meaning. He’d be a burden to his wife and family. He told me that he said a silent prayer and, although not sure about his future, he’d go along with whatever God had in store. At that moment, he recognized that faith and hope were still a choice and he began to feel some peace.

But he knew that his immediate need was to be rescued, not easy since he was down in the riverbed and not many people use this trail. The temperature was below freezing and he was cold.  He had his cell phone but no ability to use it. He resorted to yelling, but to no avail. Now losing his voice and developing a painful cramp in one leg, he began to pray. “Heavenly Father send me an early morning jogger and, if you wouldn’t mind, send him quickly.”

For another hour Jim continued praying. He felt excruciating pain in his body and dark thoughts kept trying to creep in. He remembered that his doctor had recommended no exercise for a while because of a recent surgery. Plus his wife reminded him of this the night before. He regretted not listening and realized his awful state came about because of his poor decision.

The Rescue

Then, a voice: “Are you Ok? Do you need some help?” Jon and Megan, two early morning joggers were running on the trail and saw a piece of his jacket. Jon climbed down the riverbank and using Jim’s phone called 911.  Afterward he told Jim, “You are the luckiest guy in the world, we generally don’t run here, but we did today and we even drove our car to get here quicker.”

It took several minutes for the EMTs to arrive. They came from two different fire houses. One came up the river in a boat and the other down the trail with a 4-wheeler. Before long, they had him on a stretcher and lifted up onto the river bank.  Then they took him down the trail to the ambulance waiting at the trail head.

Some Good News

In the hospital, Jim got some good news. He had only bruised his spinal cord in several places and recovery was possible, although uncertain just how much mobility and use of his limbs he would ever regain. His doctors treated him with screws and rods and a halo to fuse his vertebrae. And there would be a long period of physical and occupational therapy.

The nurses told Jim that he needed to try to move his arms and legs constantly to rebuild his nervous system. The problem was he received only three hours of physical therapy per day and was confined to his bed the other 21 hours. So he decided to use those hours to his advantage. He got rubber exercise bands and a hand squeezer. When not using these props, he worked at lifting his hands to touch the bed railings.

Not Following Protocol

But soon the doctors and nurses were pushing back at his hard work. Patients weren’t supposed to do their own therapy in their rooms. At one point, they put an alarm on him to call the nurses if he were to stand up from his wheelchair. And they refused to let him walk without a walker. But Jim was more interested in his healing that hospital protocol and so he pushed himself to stand on his own and walk. As his strength and feelings were slowly returning, Jim knew that his recovery depended on commitment and motivation, so he exercised every hour of the day. In truth, the work was painful and unpleasant.

Social Support

You may remember that Jim’s accident happened in the fall of 2020, in the middle of covid which meant that he could only have one visitor a day. His wife, Jean, came to the hospital for about ten hours every day, dressing him, feeding him, doing what he couldn’t do for himself. Her dedication touched Jim deeply. And during the three weeks of hospital therapy, he received many messages of encouragement from friends and relatives. Jean, his only visitor, read these messages to him and constantly wiped the tears from his eyes. The messages meant so much and gave him motivation and helped fuel his positive mental outlook.

Jim was released from the hospital after just three weeks, halo and all. His doctors told him they had never witnessed anyone progress so quickly and completely. Once released, Jim continued working out. In fact, he went to a local gym every day and even paid for a personal trainer. He used equipment at home and never missed an opportunity to walk outdoors. He started working with a chiropractor who would get underneath each arm and push until it was absolutely numb with pain. Jim still does the stretches every day. If he doesn’t do them constantly, he regresses.

Helping Others

As Jim became stronger, his goals of being independent and giving service to others were coming back. He felt he was receiving divine support and decided to help others who were struggling to walk. He knew one man with a cane in his church congregation. Jim took it from him and put it in a closet during the church services. The man walked around the church without it and went home, that day, walking on his own. Jim visited another man in assisted living. He’d suffered a stroke and lost the use of his left arm and most of his right hand. Jim started taking him to LA Fitness and taught him to use bands and regain as much use in his arms as possible. Jim teared up as he shared this. He could use his experience to inspire others.

Pushing Himself

Today Jim gets up at 6:00 am every morning and goes to the gym for a good workout—45 minutes of weights and a 45-minute swim. He mountain bikes with a friend and hikes with his wife. Last summer as a strength and confidence builder, he and a friend did a 300-mile kayak trip on the Mississippi River, camping on sand bars and cooking their own food.  It was very challenging with high water, strong winds, periodic locks, and barge traffic.

And then this past winter, for the first time since his accident, he tried snowboarding.  It took six runs to relearn the sport and will take a lot more work to regain the strength and skill he once had. Although not quite 100% in terms of movement and balance, he is doing almost everything he did before his accident.

Turning a Negative into a Positive

Even though it was a very hard experience and has diminished his physical abilities, Jim told me that he has gained some wonderful insights that he could not see before the accident. He appreciates his family and friends, understands the limited time one has in this life and need to weed out the negative emotions of doubt, fear and discouragement. He is using what he has learned to help others that lack the know-how and confidence to recover from similar injuries.

Well, I want to point out that people who develop resilience in the face of adversity, trauma and ongoing stress are agents in their own well-being rather than victims of their life events. Jim did not focus primarily on his injury and trauma. He refused to let himself be defined by this horrible event but instead focused on his power to create a beautiful future.

Other Examples of Resilience

Of course, Jim is an example of resilience as a result of a physical injury. There are so many other examples. I’m sensitive to the millions of people who have had to learn resilience because they grew up in difficult childhood circumstances, including poverty, neglect, abuse, or relationship instability. I’m also aware that millions of people have lived through traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, an accident, natural disasters, war, or even social rejection or ongoing bullying. Lots of people have dealt with adversity and trauma in its various forms.

And even if you came from a relatively stable home or background, you may have gone through hard experiences as an adult. In fact, you may face, today, a constant barrage of adversity or challenges including family conflict, problems on the job, chronic pain, financial worries and even news about the state of the world that wear you down, cause you to feel stress and anxiety and rob you of your enjoyment of life. The pandemic of 2020 certainly had this impact on hundreds of millions of people from around the world.

So what about you? Have you lived through difficult circumstances or experienced traumatic events in your life? Or do you know someone who has, someone whom you admire? How have you/they coped? What have you learned from these experiences? How have they shaped you into the person you are today?

I invite you to leave a comment.