Empowering people to make strengthening choices
A couple is discussing how to spend the holidays. One partner wants to travel to see family. The other wants to stay home. “We always spend the holidays with your family,” one says. “That’s not true,” the other replies. “We stayed home two years ago.” Almost immediately, the conversation becomes an argument about facts. Who is […]
“You never listen to me.” The words are barely out before you respond. “That’s not true. I was listening. You’re the one who walked away the last time we tried to talk.” Within seconds, you are no longer discussing what happened. You are defending your intentions, correcting the facts, or pointing out what the other […]
You have replayed the conversation in your mind all morning. You know what the other person did. You know why it was wrong. And you know exactly what you want to say. By the time you finally speak, you are carrying hours—perhaps days—of frustration into the conversation. “I’ve been thinking about what happened,” you begin, […]
In my recent articles, I’ve described Mature Love as a relationship rooted in Integrity, Empathy, and Agency. These three capacities allow us to remain true to ourselves, make room for our spouse’s experience, and choose responses that strengthen rather than weaken the relationship. Nowhere are these capacities more important than when we disagree. One of […]
In my last two articles, I described Mature Love as a relationship rooted in Integrity, Empathy, and Agency. I also explained that Mature Love makes room for two whole people—two people who can remain true to themselves while honoring each other’s experience. But these capacities matter most when they are tested. It is easy to be […]
In my last article, I described Mature Love as a relationship rooted in three inner capacities: Integrity, Empathy, and Agency. These capacities enable two emotionally responsible adults to bring their best selves to their relationship. Together, they form the foundation of emotional maturity in marriage. But what does it mean to bring your whole self […]
Nearly every couple wants the same thing. We want a love that grows deeper with time rather than fading into duty and routine. Yet many couples secretly wonder whether that kind of relationship actually exists. I believe it does. I call it Mature Love. In an earlier article I introduced what I call the Five […]
Many couples reach a discouraging conclusion after years of unresolved conflict: “We’ve talked about this so many times—and nothing ever changes.” When conflict becomes repetitive, it can feel pointless to keep trying. Hope fades. Conversations feel scripted. Both partners know exactly how the argument will end before it even begins. This is the nature of recurring […]
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