Empowering people to make strengthening choices

Creating Mutual Respect

Creating Mutual Respect

In my last article, I wrote about seeing people deeply. Today I want to explore a related concept, respect and how to create mutual respect. The dictionary defines respect as “to hold in high regard; to feel or show honor or esteem towards something or someone.” Although we think of respect as behaving in a […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Seeing People Deeply

Seeing People Deeply

So often we look at people and even interact with them but we don’t really see them. This is something that the columnist David Brooks has talked about lately. He’s been alarmed by the growing isolation and social disconnectedness in our society in recent years. In fact, he’s said, “Many of our society’s great problems […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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A Circle of Healing

A Circle of Healing

I recently learned about a Rabbi by the name of Sharon Brous, a founder of a Jewish Community in Los Angeles. Rabbi Brous recently wrote a book entitled, “The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Mend our Broken Hearts and the World” in which she writes about a circle of healing and underscores the importance of […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Do You Relate from Fear, Duty, or Love?

Do You Relate from Fear, Duty, or Love?

So much of the quality of your relationships has less to do with other people and more to do with who and how you are in relation to other people. What are the attitudes and perceptions that you come from as you interact with others? In truth, you can do a lot to build healthy […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Recovering From a High School Shooting

Recovering From a High School Shooting

A sad story in modern life, at least in America, are all of the mass shootings in our public schools. As a psychologist I worked with students and their families who were directly affected by two different shootings. This is a story of how one young man recovered from a high school shooting. A Wonderful […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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I’m Not Okay Stories

I’m Not Okay Stories

We tell ourselves stories every day. Furthermore, these stories are powerful determiners of how we feel and act in everyday life. And today I want to talk about a common story that many people repeat to themselves. I call it the “I’m not okay” story. Unfortunately, it is a story that undercuts the happiness and […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Rebuilding Trust by Managing My Anxiety

Rebuilding Trust by Managing My Anxiety

I recently wrote about a key moment in which I had to make a decision about how to handle a Saturday evening. The choices I made were relatively small in the grand scheme of things but allowed me to experience an enjoyable evening with my wife that could easily have been otherwise. Although small, such […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Letting Go of Shame by Reframing My Story

Letting Go of Shame by Reframing My Story

I recall a personal experience from when I was a boy. I was about 14 years of age. A group of us were playing basketball in the backyard of our neighbors. Jeff, the neighbor boy, got really mad about something and ran into his house. The game broke up and I walked over to our […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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