In a recent blog post, I talked about the differences between owning versus disowning responsibility for yourself in your relationship with your partner. I shared a story in which I made myself a victim of Judy until I stopped to think about it and was able to alter my reaction. I went from feeling like […]

The phrase personal responsibility has a lot of meanings so let me be clear about what I’m talking about. It means that you take ownership of your life. You’re not a passenger but in the driver’s seat of your life. Life does not simply happen to you. Rather, you shape your life by your ability […]

Being real means being who you are rather than trying to be who you are not for the sake of pleasing someone else. It is being comfortable enough in your own skin that you don’t have to play games, pretend, manage an image, etc. You can be you, warts and all. One aspect of reality […]

In my last article, I talked about four toxic patterns that diminish our feelings of safety, security and love within our relationships. And because we are human, we will sometimes fall into these patterns. But the good news is that we can recover and rebuild feelings of safety and love. My purpose in this article […]

In a recent blog post I introduced the five stage of marital satisfaction: enchantment, disillusionment, obligation, friendship and mature love. In this post I want to talk about four toxic relationship patterns that prevent you from moving forward from disillusionment or obligation to friendship and love. These four patterns come from marriage research at the […]

Happiness in Marriage Did you know that over 96% of all people will marry or come together as a couple during their lifetimes? The fact is, we don’t like being alone. We want to find a partner and settle into a life with someone with whom we can share our life experiences. Furthermore, according to […]

I’ve observed that intimate relationships often grow through five stages. I call them the five stages of marital (or couple) satisfaction. I want to offer them to you to understand the milestones in your progress towards building a happy and thriving marriage. I’m also interested in your thoughts. Do you agree? How do they fit […]

In my last blog post, I talked about how we are responsible for our own happiness in marriage. This is not something we can sluff off on our spouses. That doesn’t mean I always walk my talk. In this article, I want to share a story about playing the victim in my marriage. Hopefully, it […]

A belief of mine is that you have to take good care of yourself to have a healthy and happy relationship. Taking good care of yourself is your job and not something you can sluff onto your partner. Of course, the beginning of a relationship feels so different. I was just scanning face book yesterday […]

One reason that many marriages flounder or fail is that we enter into them with unrealistic expectations. There are many myths of marriage out there that are not realistic and don’t serve you. Unfortunately, they set you up to be disillusioned and discouraged with your marriage. I believe you’ll be a lot more successful building […]