Relationships

Empowering people to make strengthening choices

The Skill of Affirming Others

The Skill of Affirming Others

In my last post, I talked about using affirming statements as a way of uplifting others, boosting motivation, and reinforcing desired behaviors. My experience is that well-chosen words can have an immediate and lasting impact. I now want to go one step further by sharing the skill of affirming others, specific steps that will make […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More
Affirming Others

Affirming Others

We all want to feel seen and valued. At our core, we long to know that we matter—that our actions, presence, and efforts are recognized by others. One of the most powerful ways to meet this need is through the skill of affirming others: recognizing people for their contributions, character, or efforts in a sincere […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More
Do Your Loved Ones Feel Your Respect?

Do Your Loved Ones Feel Your Respect?

The dictionary defines respect as “to hold in high regard; to feel or show honor or esteem towards something or someone.” When we respect someone, we make positive assumptions about their worth, capability, or potential. These assumptions guide how we act towards them. So often we think of respect as something someone must earn. In […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More
Overcoming Resentment

Overcoming Resentment

In my last post, I talked about building goodwill by radiating a friendly, kind, benevolent, or cooperative attitude towards others. These are traits that most of us consider desirable. If given a conscious choice, most of us would choose to live from the affable emotional state of goodwill. And yet how often is our goodwill […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More
Building Goodwill: A Crucial Relationship Skill

Building Goodwill: A Crucial Relationship Skill

I think of goodwill as an attitude which is friendly, kind, benevolent, helpful, or cooperative. Someone expressing goodwill radiates not only friendliness but openness and trust towards others as opposed to hostility and annoyance. Take just a moment to consider someone you know who comes from goodwill. Those in their presence feel seen and valued, […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More
Emotionally Intelligent Communication

Emotionally Intelligent Communication

Imagine that Trish, an 8th grader, comes home from school and throws her books on the floor. Mom responds, “Hey, you don’t throw books. You come and pick these up, right now, young lady.” Trish turns and runs up to her room in tears, ignoring her mom’s, “Get back here.” An Anxious Mom Fuming and […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More
Desired Outcomes from Your Communication

Desired Outcomes from Your Communication

In my last blog posts, I’ve made a distinction between communication that is harmful and weakening vs. helpful and strengthening. It is powerful to be aware of this distinction. As you recognize your tendencies that are weakening and purposefully choose to communicate in ways that are strengthening you will not only improve the quality of […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More
What Not to Say to Someone in Distress

What Not to Say to Someone in Distress

What do you do or say when someone around you is hurting or in distress? How are you likely to respond? Do you say and do something that will be helpful and even strengthening to this individual or might you, inadvertently, say or do something that is harmful and even weakening? I want to suggest […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


Read More

What My Customers and Students are Saying

Write Your Story

    Once you submit your story, I'll review it and get back to you. This may take a few days. I'll let you know when it will be published and invite you to then share your post with your friends and family.