I’ve observed that intimate relationships often grow through five stages. I call them the five stages of marital (or couple) satisfaction. I want to offer them to you to understand the milestones in your progress towards building a happy and thriving marriage. I’m also interested in your thoughts. Do you agree? How do they fit […]

In my last blog post, I talked about how we are responsible for our own happiness in marriage. This is not something we can sluff off on our spouses. That doesn’t mean I always walk my talk. In this article, I want to share a story about playing the victim in my marriage. Hopefully, it […]

A belief of mine is that you have to take good care of yourself to have a healthy and happy relationship. Taking good care of yourself is your job and not something you can sluff onto your partner. Of course, the beginning of a relationship feels so different. I was just scanning face book yesterday […]

One reason that many marriages flounder or fail is that we enter into them with unrealistic expectations. There are many myths of marriage out there that are not realistic and don’t serve you. Unfortunately, they set you up to be disillusioned and discouraged with your marriage. I believe you’ll be a lot more successful building […]

Taking offense is being hurt, upset or angry by something your spouse (or anyone else) says or does. Always at the heart of taking offense is feeling treated unfairly. Your partner has been insensitive, inconsiderate, dismissing, condescending or disparaging in some way. What you’re hearing or how you’re being treated doesn’t fit with how you […]

In a previous article, I introduced a four-phase process for resolving conflict in marriage and other relationships. Here is a quick review of those phases. The first phase is preparation in which you put yourself in the mental state to step up to conflict in a helpful way. Phase two is invitation in which you […]

  We are quickly moving into “the most wonderful time of the year.” And yet, I dare say that many of us are feeling angst and trepidation as the holidays approach. For some, it’s the sorrow of being alone and separated from family members and friends due to the covid pandemic. Whether due to government […]

In my last post, I talked about the “how” of listening and gave you a set of seven guidelines to become a better listener. Now I want to point to a special case of listening. How do you support someone who is grieving? What do you say or do when someone is going through grief […]

If you’ve been with me the last several weeks, you know I’m writing about the importance and power of listening. Now I want to talk about how to improve listening skills. I use the word “skill” because listening is something we can practice and develop. But, truthfully, I’m not sure “skill” is the best word […]

I’ve been posting a lot about listening recently. This is because I believe your success, in any role, depends so much on your ability to listen. There is not a communication skill more important to building good relationships and solving problems than learning how to actively listen and really hear what others are saying. And […]