In my studies of gratitude, I came across a beautiful story of gratitude told by Maureen Deuterma. It offers a perspective of what matter most. Email from a Friend I received an email from a friend of mine today sharing the good news that he had been promoted to vice president in a prestigious company. […]

The Thanksgiving holiday, which we’re celebrating in the US this week, has always been a favorite of mine. Not only is it less commercialized than other holidays, but it invites peaceful reflection and giving thanks for the good things in our lives. We often offer our thanks around a dinner table with family and friends. […]

  One of the most important decisions you will ever make in life is how you feel about yourself. Of course, we don’t usually think of this as a decision. It’s a given, just the way it is. And yet, I want to suggest it is a decision and one with far reaching consequences. How […]

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash In my last article I talked about how we respond to one another’s bids. Do we turn toward, away, or against? As we learn to turn towards our partners, we’re putting deposits into their love accounts. Closely related is an idea called “Caring Days” which is a way to […]

In the past, I’ve talked about the Gottman labs where couples come and stay for a weekend. Marriage researchers record all of their interactions and then play them back for them and coach them in how to improve their marriages.  Well, you would think that these researchers would get a lot of boring communication. But […]

In recent weeks I’ve been talking about ways to develop friendship so that positive feelings override the inevitable ups and downs of your marital relationship. In this article I want to move on to another strategy—that of strengthening your relationship by nurturing admiration. The reason this is so important is that a happy marriage is […]

Happy vs. Unhappy Couples The purpose of this article is to talk about friendship in marriage. But first, I need to tell you about the research of John Gottman at the University of Washington in Seattle. Gottman may be the most respected researcher on marriage in the world. For four decades now, John and his […]

I’ve talked a lot about self-responsibility. In truth, it’s hard to show up in a loving way for another person if you don’t take responsibility for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll be passive and dependent or blaming and controlling, in either case believing that your wellbeing is up to someone else more than you. This mindset will […]

In this article, I talk about differences between men and women. The purpose is to help you develop more understanding and even appreciation of your partner. So much conflict and alienation couples experience comes from misunderstanding our partner’s intent. Much of this can be reduced as we recognize gender differences. Although there are so many […]

Happiness in Marriage Did you know that over 96% of all people will marry or come together as a couple during their lifetimes? The fact is, we don’t like being alone. We want to find a partner and settle into a life with someone with whom we can share our life experiences. Furthermore, according to […]