In my last article, I talked about four toxic patterns that diminish our feelings of safety, security and love within our relationships. And because we are human, we will sometimes fall into these patterns. But the good news is that we can recover and rebuild feelings of safety and love. My purpose in this article […]

Taking offense is being hurt, upset or angry by something your spouse (or anyone else) says or does. Always at the heart of taking offense is feeling treated unfairly. Your partner has been insensitive, inconsiderate, dismissing, condescending or disparaging in some way. What you’re hearing or how you’re being treated doesn’t fit with how you […]

In a previous article, I introduced a four-phase process for resolving conflict in marriage and other relationships. Here is a quick review of those phases. The first phase is preparation in which you put yourself in the mental state to step up to conflict in a helpful way. Phase two is invitation in which you […]

Resistance is common, whether at home or work. You propose an idea and someone pushes back. It’s a good idea, even in their best self-interest and yet they resist. It’s easy to get frustrated and end up entangled in a power struggle that demoralizes everyone and harms the relationship. So, what do you do? Here’s […]

Hi my friend, A mother came to me a few weeks back about her rebellious son who is lying, refusing to spend time with the family, and retreating to his bedroom. She wanted to know what she and her husband should do. Of course, I started by listening. I wanted to show empathy and respect […]

+ I introduced the topic of deep listening in my last blog post. I think of listening as suspending judgment and being fully present with another person to understand his or her experience or point of view. Listening well is one of the best gifts we can give another person. Not only does deep listening […]

Listening is thought of as a soft skill. Perhaps the softest of the soft skills. What’s the big deal, we might ask? We listen every day. It’s something we learned to do as children and it comes naturally. And yet, I’m going to suggest that it is not that easy to learn the skill of […]

If you’ve been following me the last few weeks, you’re aware that I teach four phases in resolving conflict: Preparation, Invitation, Exploration, and Collaboration. Last week I wrote about the first two phases and this week I want to explain the last two phases. Phase III: Exploration-The Heart of Conflict Resolution Exploration is exploring the […]

My purpose is to make it easier for you to resolve conflict by teaching you a structure and process for initiating and navigating sensitive conversations successfully. I’m going to teach you a four-phase process for resolving conflict, which I’ve gleaned from my years of professional experience.

Conflict is inevitable. No surprise. The question is how we resolve conflict. The most emotionally intelligent people in any field or walk of life understand conflict management. They don’t deal with conflict management by retreating or sweeping it under the rug, nor by coming off as aggressive and imposing their will on others. They learn […]