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communication

Empowering people to make strengthening choices

Getting to Know Your Partner Deeply

Getting to Know Your Partner Deeply

As I pointed out in my last article, one of the characteristics of successful and satisfying relationships is “positive sentiment override.” This means that you have built up enough positive feelings (friendship) towards each other that you’re able to withstand the inevitable disappointments, conflicts, and just plain hard times in your marriage. One way to […]

By rogerkallen


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Differences Between Men and Women

Differences Between Men and Women

In this article, I talk about differences between men and women. The purpose is to help you develop more understanding and even appreciation of your partner. So much conflict and alienation couples experience comes from misunderstanding our partner’s intent. Much of this can be reduced as we recognize gender differences. Although there are so many […]

By rogerkallen


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The Relationship in Your Head

The Relationship in Your Head

In a recent blog post, I talked about the differences between owning versus disowning responsibility for yourself in your relationship with your partner. I shared a story in which I made myself a victim of Judy until I stopped to think about it and was able to alter my reaction. I went from feeling like […]

By rogerkallen


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Guidelines to Establish (or Reestablish) a Positive Connection in Your Marriage

Guidelines to Establish (or Reestablish) a Positive Connection in Your Marriage

In my last article, I talked about four toxic patterns that diminish our feelings of safety, security and love within our relationships. And because we are human, we will sometimes fall into these patterns. But the good news is that we can recover and rebuild feelings of safety and love. My purpose in this article […]

By rogerkallen


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Taking Offense in Marriage (and other relationships)

Taking Offense in Marriage (and other relationships)

Taking offense is being hurt, upset or angry by something your spouse (or anyone else) says or does. Always at the heart of taking offense is feeling treated unfairly. Your partner has been insensitive, inconsiderate, dismissing, condescending or disparaging in some way. What you’re hearing or how you’re being treated doesn’t fit with how you […]

By rogerkallen


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Resolving Conflict in Marriage–A Case Study

Resolving Conflict in Marriage–A Case Study

In a previous article, I introduced a four-phase process for resolving conflict in marriage and other relationships. Here is a quick review of those phases. The first phase is preparation in which you put yourself in the mental state to step up to conflict in a helpful way. Phase two is invitation in which you […]

By rogerkallen


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Overcome Resistance Through Listening

Overcome Resistance Through Listening

Resistance is common, whether at home or work. You propose an idea and someone pushes back. It’s a good idea, even in their best self-interest and yet they resist. It’s easy to get frustrated and end up entangled in a power struggle that demoralizes everyone and harms the relationship. So, what do you do? Here’s […]

By rogerkallen


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Son Who is Acting Out

Son Who is Acting Out

Hi my friend, A mother came to me a few weeks back about her rebellious son who is lying, refusing to spend time with the family, and retreating to his bedroom. She wanted to know what she and her husband should do. Of course, I started by listening. I wanted to show empathy and respect […]

By rogerkallen


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