emotional maturity

Empowering people to make strengthening choices

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Allowing Negative Emotions

Allowing Negative Emotions

We habitually distract ourselves from our negative feelings. However, as we face them with compassion and non-judgment we experience emotional nourishment and personal liberation.

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.

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How to Handle Your Disappointments

How to Handle Your Disappointments

I think of disappointment as a situation or event when reality does not match our hopes or expectations. It is when things don’t go as we’ve planned or at least would like them to go. It’s a common human experience. We’ve all been disappointed—lots. For example I was disappointed to learn, recently, about my heart […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.

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The Power of Emotional Intelligence

The Power of Emotional Intelligence

For years people assumed that IQ was more predictive of life and occupational success than any other variable. After all, doesn’t it stand to reason that the smartest people will outperform others most of the time? It’s logical, but not true. In fact, recent research has found that people of average IQ will outperform those […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.

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Choosing-The Key to Emotional Maturity

Choosing-The Key to Emotional Maturity

I wrote about Eduardo in my last blog post.  How is it that some he can live in a place of such, joy, abundance, goodwill?  Was he born that way? Was he fortunate to be born into an incredible family? Is he of a stronger character or constitution than most of us? What accounts for […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.

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The 4 Stages of Adult Development: From Survival to Serenity

The 4 Stages of Adult Development: From Survival to Serenity

Why do some people feel stuck in fear and reactivity while others seem grounded, purposeful, and at peace? Over many years of counseling, teaching, and coaching, I’ve observed that adults tend to organize their lives around four fundamentally different ways of being: Survival, Security, Success, and Serenity. These stages influence how we see ourselves, relate […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.

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How to Become Emotionally Mature

How to Become Emotionally Mature

Hal hated Charlie, everything about him, from his knowing sneer to his rolling swagger. When he saw him enter the restaurant with Keith, he wished fervently he could get away and considered getting up and walking out of the breakfast meeting, without a word to either of his two former partners. But then he garnered his faculties and decided to accept this reality. He would choose how to respond, and his choice would be to be cordial and cooperative. He felt a surge of strength as he realized that handling himself in a dignified manner with both these men would be a bigger personal victory than if he met with Keith alone.

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.

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