happiness in marriage

Empowering people to make strengthening choices

Four Styles of Communication in Marriage

Four Styles of Communication in Marriage

I’ve written a lot of articles, in the last several months, about how to create a happy and loving marriage or relationship with your life partner. A common theme throughout has been the importance of doing things, intentionally and proactively, to foster a climate of positive rather than negative sentiment. Sure, there will always be […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: Why it Matters More Than Sex

Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: Why it Matters More Than Sex

Many couples worry about their sexual relationship, assuming that intimacy problems begin in the bedroom. In reality, most struggles with sex begin much earlier — with a gradual loss of emotional intimacy in marriage. Emotional intimacy is the sense of closeness that comes from feeling known, valued, safe, and emotionally connected to your spouse. When […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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How to Increase Play and Recreation in Marriage

How to Increase Play and Recreation in Marriage

  A big strategy that gets at the heart of building positive feelings and friendship in your relationship with your partner is play and recreation. By this I mean doing activities that are fun and which you can do together. Number One Factor in Marital Happiness Marriage researchers at the University of Denver did a […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Differences Between Men and Women

Differences Between Men and Women

In this article, I talk about differences between men and women. The purpose is to help you develop more understanding and even appreciation of your partner. So much conflict and alienation couples experience comes from misunderstanding our partner’s intent. Much of this can be reduced as we recognize gender differences. Although there are so many […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Guidelines to Establish (or Reestablish) a Positive Connection in Your Marriage

Guidelines to Establish (or Reestablish) a Positive Connection in Your Marriage

In my last article, I talked about four toxic patterns that diminish our feelings of safety, security and love within our relationships. And because we are human, we will sometimes fall into these patterns. But the good news is that we can recover and rebuild feelings of safety and love. My purpose in this article […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Toxic Relationship Patterns that Kill Love

Toxic Relationship Patterns that Kill Love

In a recent blog post I introduced the five stage of marital satisfaction: enchantment, disillusionment, obligation, friendship and mature love. In this post I want to talk about four toxic relationship patterns that prevent you from moving forward from disillusionment or obligation to friendship and love. These four patterns come from marriage research at the […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Five Stages of Marital Satisfaction

Five Stages of Marital Satisfaction

I’ve observed that intimate relationships often grow through five stages. I call them the five stages of marital (or couple) satisfaction. I want to offer them to you to understand the milestones in your progress towards building a happy and thriving marriage. I’m also interested in your thoughts. Do you agree? How do they fit […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Undoing Some Myths of Marriage

Undoing Some Myths of Marriage

One reason that many marriages flounder or fail is that we enter into them with unrealistic expectations. There are many myths of marriage out there that are not realistic and don’t serve you. Unfortunately, they set you up to be disillusioned and discouraged with your marriage. I believe you’ll be a lot more successful building […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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