personal responsibility

Empowering people to make strengthening choices

How to Find Happiness

How to Find Happiness

If we make externals (money, status, power, popularity) our primary measures of happiness we find ourselves in a world in which we're never satisfied. No matter how much we have, achieve, or accomplish we sense that something is missing. We are living from a scarcity mentality, always comparing our lot in life to others and forever aware of what we lack rather than appreciating the blessings and goodness of life.

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Non-Defensive Listening in the Middle of Conflict

Non-Defensive Listening in the Middle of Conflict

Although our “key moments” are difficult to face and handle, they bless our lives because they are the means by which we grow. They give us an opportunity to interrupt old patterns and act from a new set of principles. Here’s an example from The Hero’s Choice. Think about Hal’s interaction with Kathy as he […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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I Choose

I Choose

Last week I wrote about “who” vs. “what.” We all have lots of “what’s” in our lives, situations and events to which we must respond. Some can be quite challenging. However, by knowing who we are and anchoring ourselves in deep, positive beliefs about our identity, we empower ourselves to respond in positive, non-reactive ways […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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“Who” vs. “What” – A Key to Overcoming Adversity

“Who” vs. “What” – A Key to Overcoming Adversity

I recounted in my blog, last week, the story of Elizabeth Smart, the 14-year-old girl kidnapped from her home in the middle of the night and held captive and abused daily for nine months before being freed by law enforcement and returned to her family. “Who” More Than “What” You might recall that I posed […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Elizabeth Smart – A Story of Hope and Resilience

Elizabeth Smart – A Story of Hope and Resilience

I’m intrigued by the story of Elizabeth Smart, the 14-year-old girl who was kidnapped from her bedroom in Salt Lake City on June 5, 2002. The previous evening, Elizabeth’s family attended an award ceremony at Elizabeth’s school. Her father, Ed Smart, locked up the house, as usual, and the family went to bed. In the […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Attitude of a POW

Attitude of a POW

In my newsletter last week I told the story, “You Get What You’re Looking For.” The point of the story is that we don’t see things as they are. We see life through a filter and that filter (not reality) determines how we experience life and, eventually, our destinies. I want to share the story […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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You Get What You’re Looking For: The Power of the Mind

You Get What You’re Looking For: The Power of the Mind

A number of years ago I moved my family from Denver to Spokane, Washington, where I had accepted a new job. I was not aware at the time of how difficult an adjustment the move would be to my children, who were then 14, 12 and 9 years of age. It was especially difficult for […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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What’s is it About Eduardo?

What’s is it About Eduardo?

I wrote about Eduardo in my last newsletter, an example of a man who lives a simple life and yet comes from total gratitude and goodwill. I cannot be in Eduardo’s presence without feeling blessed. What is it About Eduardo? What is it about him? He certainly has problems. He’s told me about them. In […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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