There are two types of problems– “out there” and “in here.” By “out there” I’m talking about events and circumstances. Your neighbor’s dog does its business in front of your house every morning. Your mother-in-law criticizes how you’re raising your kids. A co-worker doesn’t do his/her fair share. By “in here” I’m talking about your […]

Most of us have ideas about how to improve our nation and the world. And yet we recognize that so many of the political and economic forces at work in the world are beyond our ability to influence. So we watch…and we wait…we hope…and we complain…forgetting that nothing will make the world better than simple […]

When we get clear about boundaries we can make choices rather than just react. We become empowered. We can now search for creative solutions to what seemed to be intractable problems.

Expectations are the specific beliefs that you have brought into your marriage about the way things will or should be. In general, if your expectations are met then you are happy. If not, you experience disappointment and frustration. Therefore, understanding and learning to negotiate your expectations is a key factor in your marital success.

The good news is that there is a great deal of research on healthy and happy marital relationships. Researchers are discovering patterns of successful relationships and letting the rest of us in on their secrets.

A couple of years ago I started on a journey to understand happiness. It’s a concept that has been well studied in the past fifteen years. Social scientists have learned a lot about the mental strategies of happy people, strategies which can be used by anyone who wants to increase their happiness and well-being.In particular, […]

 The holidays are not only a wonderful time of year but also stressful, as our normal routine is replaced with a spiraling array of demands–shopping, decorating, social and family gatherings, and so on. Most of us are excited as the holidays approach. But then they don’t always live up to what we hope, and we […]

In my last post I talked about the relationship between positive social relationships and happiness. Unhappiness is not a mental illness caused by something mysterious going on the brain. Generally, it can be linked to what is going on in your relationships. How are you and your boss (or co-workers) getting along? How close do […]

In the late 1930s, researchers at Harvard University conceived of a project to understand happiness and personal success. In one of the longest running studies of all time, they began following the lives of 268 men who entered Harvard in the late 1930s up to the present day (most of them having passed-on by now), […]

“He who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.” Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet Arthur Brookes, an economist and professor of entrepreneurship at the University of Syracuse, works with successful entrepreneurs. In an article entitled The Privilege of Giving (Marriott Alumni Magazine, Winter 2008), Dr. […]