Happy vs. Unhappy Couples The purpose of this article is to talk about friendship in marriage. But first, I need to tell you about the research of John Gottman at the University of Washington in Seattle. Gottman may be the most respected researcher on marriage in the world. For four decades now, John and his […]
Self-responsibility is the key to a happy and successful life. Consider that there are two types of problems– “out there” and “in here.” By “out there” I’m talking about events and circumstances. Your neighbor’s dog does its business in front of your house every morning. Your mother-in-law criticizes how you’re raising your kids. A co-worker […]
Most of us have ideas about how to improve our nation and the world. And yet we recognize that so many of the political and economic forces at work in the world are beyond our ability to influence. So we watch…and we wait…we hope…and we complain…forgetting that nothing will make the world better than simple […]
When we get clear about boundaries we can make choices rather than just react. We become empowered. We can now search for creative solutions to what seemed to be intractable problems.
Expectations are the specific beliefs that you have brought into your marriage about the way things will or should be. In general, if your expectations are met then you are happy. If not, you experience disappointment and frustration. Therefore, understanding and learning to negotiate your expectations is a key factor in your marital success.
For many couples marriage is a difficult journey. Since the early 1970’s close to 50% of all marriages in America have ended in divorce. An even higher percentage of second marriages end in divorce. And many of those couples who stick it out express dissatisfaction and, at some point, seriously consider ending their relationship. Indeed, […]
A couple of years ago I started on a journey to understand happiness. It’s a concept that has been well studied in the past fifteen years. Social scientists have learned a lot about the mental strategies of happy people, strategies which can be used by anyone who wants to increase their happiness and well-being.In particular, […]
The holidays are not only a wonderful time of year but also stressful, as our normal routine is replaced with a spiraling array of demands–shopping, decorating, social and family gatherings, and so on. Most of us are excited as the holidays approach. But then they don’t always live up to what we hope as we […]
In my last post I talked about the relationship between positive relationships and happiness. Unhappiness is not a mental illness caused by something mysterious going on the brain. Generally, it can be linked to what is going on in your relationships. How are you and your boss (or co-workers) getting along? To what extent do […]
Harvard Men’s Study In the late 1930s, researchers at Harvard University conceived of a project to understand happiness and personal success. Known as one of the longest running studies of all time, they began following the lives of 268 men who entered Harvard in the late 1930s up to the present day (most of them […]
