Empowering people to make strengthening choices
“You never listen to me.” The words are barely out before you respond. “That’s not true. I was listening. You’re the one who walked away the last time we tried to talk.” Within seconds, you are no longer discussing what happened. You are defending your intentions, correcting the facts, or pointing out what the other […]
In my last two articles, I described Mature Love as a relationship rooted in Integrity, Empathy, and Agency. I also explained that Mature Love makes room for two whole people—two people who can remain true to themselves while honoring each other’s experience. But these capacities matter most when they are tested. It is easy to be […]
Recurring arguments in relationships Most couples don’t argue about what they think they’re arguing about. On the surface, the conflict might be about money, parenting, sex, chores, or time. But beneath the content of the argument is usually something more personal—and more vulnerable. When couples miss this deeper layer, conflict becomes repetitive, exhausting, and confusing. The […]
Most conflict doesn’t begin with the present moment. In fact, most emotional triggers in relationships begin with something from your past. A look, a tone, a comment that seems small on the surface—and suddenly your body reacts before your mind can catch up. Your heart races. Your chest tightens. Words come out sharper than you […]
Many couples believe they have a communication problem. They say things like: “We just can’t talk without it turning into an argument.” “No matter how I say it, it comes out wrong.” “We go in circles.” On the surface, couples want to know how to stop arguing in a conversation, so communication seems like the […]
We all experience negative emotion. It is a natural part of life. Not only would our lives be boring without the ups and downs of our emotions, but negative emotions are how we learn and grow and become better, stronger human beings. Think about this. Without experiences that trigger such feelings as fear, hurt, loneliness, […]
I recently wrote about a key moment in which I had to make a decision about how to handle a Saturday evening. The choices I made were relatively small in the grand scheme of things but allowed me to experience an enjoyable evening with my wife that could easily have been otherwise. Although small, such […]
I want to suggest that there is power in a soft answer. By soft answer I mean a soft response to some sort of provocation, or at least what feels to you like a provocation. I don’t mean, necessarily, that someone is deliberately inciting or goading you into reacting. Although it may mean that, I’m […]
Subscribe now and get your digital copy FREE!
