marriage

Empowering people to make strengthening choices

Happiness in Marriage

Happiness in Marriage

Happiness in Marriage Did you know that over 96% of all people will marry or come together as a couple during their lifetimes? The fact is, we don’t like being alone. We want to find a partner and settle into a life with someone with whom we can share our life experiences. Furthermore, according to […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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You Better Take Good Care of Yourself to Have a Happy Marriage

You Better Take Good Care of Yourself to Have a Happy Marriage

A belief of mine is that you have to take good care of yourself to have a healthy and happy relationship. Taking good care of yourself is your job and not something you can sluff onto your partner. Of course, the beginning of a relationship feels so different. I was just scanning face book yesterday […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Taking Offense in Marriage (and other relationships)

Taking Offense in Marriage (and other relationships)

Taking offense is being hurt, upset or angry by something your spouse (or anyone else) says or does. Always at the heart of taking offense is feeling treated unfairly. Your partner has been insensitive, inconsiderate, dismissing, condescending or disparaging in some way. What you’re hearing or how you’re being treated doesn’t fit with how you […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Resolving Conflict in Marriage–A Case Study

Resolving Conflict in Marriage–A Case Study

In a previous article, I introduced a four-phase process for resolving conflict in marriage and other relationships. Here is a quick review of those phases. The first phase is preparation in which you put yourself in the mental state to step up to conflict in a helpful way. Phase two is invitation in which you […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Boundaries in Marriage

Boundaries in Marriage

When we get clear about boundaries we can make choices rather than just react. We become empowered. We can now search for creative solutions to what seemed to be intractable problems.

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Negotiating Expectations in Marriage

Negotiating Expectations in Marriage

Expectations are the specific beliefs that you have brought into your marriage about the way things will or should be. In general, if your expectations are met then you are happy. If not, you experience disappointment and frustration. Therefore, understanding and learning to negotiate your expectations is a key factor in your marital success.

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Friendship in Marriage

Friendship in Marriage

For many couples marriage is a difficult journey. Since the early 1970’s close to 50% of all marriages in America have ended in divorce. An even higher percentage of second marriages end in divorce. And many of those couples who stick it out express dissatisfaction and, at some point, seriously consider ending their relationship. Indeed, […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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Who’s Your Travel Partner?

Who’s Your Travel Partner?

Whether you consider your marriage strong or weak, you can only benefit from strengthening it.  Yesterday  you did a self-assessment.  Now let’s take a look at the triad that is your marriage – you, your partner, and the unique team that the two of you form together.   Let’s begin with a little quiz.  You can […]

By Roger K. Allen, Ph.D.


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